Thursday, February 25, 2010


Is online love real?
I have wrestled with this notion for sometime. Those of you who read my posts
know this is a repeating theme. Past interactions have always left me with a conflicted response to this question.
Now that I have met someone completely different, who is of my same mind-set, do I dare to trust my feelings? Having been burned so often in the past, is it not fair to want to keep those emotions under lock and key?
Is it even wise to discuss these now, when it could jeopardize the relationship?
Is it even the right time to ponder these emotions?
so many questions and feelings and very little answers.
Trust is such a bitch to deal with. One that does not come easily to this fool when dealing with love. I guess it is the price we all pay when we put our feelings on the line. We all must take the risk, suck up and move forward hoping we don't crash and burn.
In the cyber world, so much is unknown that it makes it easy to prey upon or become victim to false hopes. Even in dealing with a real physical person, it is never easy. I'm not saying that an online person isn't real, for I know there are many who are, but there are also many who are there just to play the game and hide behind some false persona. These are the ones who you have to watch out for. They can be hacks, in disguise or just fucked up peeps who, for whatever reason, can't be true to themselves or others. I have said it before, but will again, that I do not play these kind of games and what I put out there is the real deal, for good or bad, take or leave. My emotions are pretty much worn on my sleeves. Just because I love to role play, doesn't mean I like to live an alter-ego. Even my characters in role play represent me on some level and that always comes through. Those close to me know this and make it easy to be open and honest.
Who said in life there are not guarantees?
Who said no careful amount of planning can take the place of pure dumb luck?
Who said doing a good job was like wetting your pants in a dark suit, it gives you a warm feeling but nobody notices?
Who said children should be seen and not heard?
Who said love is a rose but you better not pick it, only grows on the vine. Hand full of thorns and you know you missed it. you lose your love when you say the word mine~ think that was Neil Young. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Now I know what you are thinking. I already got a tweet from a friend asking: "Who is the lucky chick?!" In fact, I'm the lucky guy! I love to rp and I'm quite good at it. Creating a world and character from nothing is quite challenging and you can use your imagination like no other format I know of. She is quite brilliant too at using hers so I'm sure I have met my match. If things go as planned, and we create a utopia worth writing about, I may post some of them here. We will be starting out as medieval characters. An area of some expertise for me as I have been playing one for over eleven years now. I'm sure we will be bringing in Dragons and serpents and who knows what else. Anyone else like to rp out there. We could create a new web-based realm. I used to run a few of those on MSN back in the day. Perhaps create a trending topic on twitter although I don't know how trending it would be but a lot of fun! Please send ideas, comments, suggestions as always appreciated.
Peace out!

Saturday, February 20, 2010


The world was a better place for you and me

we said we would make our dreams come true someday

Time consumed realizations that dreams could never be

Did we change directions or just go separate ways

The path of love has grown routine, hearts devoured

Desire replaced by greed, wanting replaced by necessity

Love shouldn't be all about you your wants desires your incessant rantings

The me generation is not conducing to love nor about getting what you want

Love is not meant for those with no experience It should come with a warning label

May be hazardous to your health use discretion use sparingly apply only to affected areas

If a rash develops discontinue use consult your physician

No doctor healer energy worker can fix only facilitate the process open the path which you alone must take

Alone conflict of love for love begins with the self perhaps completes the circle

Straight lines go on for eternity as circles imply a beginning and an end repeating process

Paths cross paths lead away love strikes without warning but always with intent so strong and enduring

Transient toying with emotion trust beauty sins lust passion desire fulfillment

Like a drug sins created by the church control obey follow the crowd give and take

Take take get what you want get what you need feed your need need your dream

Was it an illusion? is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Some friends I know went to the hospital chapel and got ashes! One of them was chased down a hall by a manager trying to tell them that they had something on their face. Another younger co worker walked into the break room where an older co worker looked at him and asked "Do you belong to a cult?"
It takes all kinds, doesn't it? While the tradition probably has been around for centuries, it is still something we don't see a lot of these days. I admit I'm not the most religious person around, in fact, far from it but I was baptized Catholic.
My dad became furious with the Catholic church after the priest was asking everyone to basically give up everything in sacrifice so that they could give to the church. I don't understand that kind of mentality and neither did my dad. We tend to belong to the Charity of self preservation which I think is more in line with the world. That doesn't mean I never give to charity. I do when I can and when I want to. If movie theatres operated the way churches do would they stay in business long? Passing a hat at the exits for the show? Could they possibly function that way? I think not. Most would leave before the credits came and skip out. So why do non-profit charities and churches operate in this manner? I really would like to know, because I haven't a clue. It would make for an interesting world I know that. You go to a restaurant and have a great meal but the waitress sucked at the end and didn't give you your last drink or something, so by today's standards you just would adjust your tip, but by the hat method what would you do? cheat the chief and others who did well by not paying as much or not at all. Oh and the envelope idea? hm mm let's really conceal how much your going to cheat them by not showing how much your supposedly giving. I'm beginning to re-think this concept. You need gas for your car but you have no cash, so you pull in and fill up and ask for an envelope where upon you place a note in saying you'll put twice as much in on the next fill-up!
The possibilities are endless.
I went to a Joel Osteen sermon a while back. Now my sister paid for the tickets and I have to admit it was quite an inspirational show, but I wasn't expecting them to pass the hat around after everyone supposedly had bought tickets for it but sure enough they did. We chose not to put in.
I saw a jar at a Chinese restaurant check out counter that read: "Tipping is not in China" I had to laugh. I never know if we are supposed to tip on take-out? I always do because they still have to prepare everything and get it all packaged up. I just don't tip as much. I always equate giving at the church with tipping. Is this wrong?
Peace out. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator

Thursday, February 11, 2010


I have always thought that I did not fit into the path most people take. My father was a loner and I grew up, for the most part alone. I had very few friends in school and in my Canyon hood, hardly anyone my age. I used to talk to make-believe playmates and occasionally would be caught speaking to no one as people walked by my house. I would get those blank, the kid must be crazy looks from people as they passed by. I moved to the beat of a different drum. I discovered a lot about myself from those experiences, but mostly I learned a tremendous amount about people by just sitting in on my parents conversations with their friends. I was, quite lucky, to be able to hang out with folks much older and wiser than me. Today's kids don't seem to get that experience. That makes me a little sad that as a race we have evolved into a individualistic mentality. The one thing I hated as a kid, not having any friends, has become a way of life for many children now. I at least had my sisters, their friends, my parents friends and so forth. Now kids get lost in mindless video games and TV. I had some crazy freaks in my hood. I grew up in Laurel Canyon in Hollywood during the heyday of the peace movement. The long haired hippie freaks they used to call us. I had navy bell bottoms with paisley patches on the ass and along the bottom seams. I wore a three inch belt which my mom had to make custom belt loops to wear it. I also had had puffy sleeved pirate shirts which my sister made for me of bright colored paisley patterns. I frequently wore old Army denim jackets with flowers embroidered on the back or peace signs. I had hip boots with inward zippers to the knee. I owned a Fred Segal fringe cowhide jacket which I wore so much it had molded into the shape of my skinny body. I would sneak wearing peace beads to school, until busted once by my mother who freaked out. She was convinced that once I started wearing beads it meant for sure that I was on drugs. Funny thing is, she was right! My dad with his military background was surprisingly pretty cool and was fine with my ensemble as long as I didn't bring chicks to the house around my younger brother. Oh and we all wore the mirror coated sunglasses to cover up the red eye.
In high school I hooked up with these two lesbian hippie chicks who taught me how to open up and be myself. We were taking Ceramics class together and the teacher was probably a stoner himself. We were getting high before class in those days and would only have to look at the teacher and know that he knew we were high. One day the two girls were giggling and saying something to draw me out when he walked by and said something about "now do you see what the Wobby spirit has done to you" I had no clue what the "wobby spirit" was until the realization at the end of the semester that he did, in fact, get high and was messing with my head. Oh and he also, later, wanted to date my sister. He also would say things like "the slave allows the clay to control him, while the master makes a slave out of the clay" Simple shit like that but profound philosophy for life just the same. Just like if I was out washing my Colby Mustang fastback in my hood and some hippie would walk by, look at me and say "you know you get it on, you get it off, it's all the same" and keep walking.
Life seemed so simple then. There were hippies who would just talk to me for hours about anything. for instance, one felt the government should subsidize him to make candles for everyone. Many of them believed in communism in the true sense of it. Socialism? whatever you want to call it. For the people, by the people comes from that. There were the draft dodgers. Yes we had a draft then and everyone feared being drafted and having to go to Vietnam to really get your head fucked with. I knew many guys who were permanently messed up from going there. I was too young to go but had very conflicted feelings about it. It was a time of protesting our government policies and there was a sense of something really big about to happen, a revolution as it were. What happened to that? My take is that after Nixon had the students shot at Kent state university just for war protesting that everything started to change. The realization that our leaders could and would do something that horrific, left many scrambling for cover. We were still reeling from the assassination of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and later, of course, Bobbie. I was a kid but it still has a strong effect in my memory. The death of Camelot as they called it. People say the whole Watergate incident did not bother them, but really I see it as a shift of the way we slowly began to give up all our freedoms and rights as a nation. And what it has spiraled into now, has left many of us feeling just hopeless.
I really don't think it matters anymore which party is in office, that our country is not run by a president or a party system, but by an elite group of a very rich power hungry conglomerate that now controls the world. We sold our rights, our country, our dreams everything this country stood for out to them with our fear of the almighty Terrorist mentality. That is exactly what they wanted all along and they perpetrated the whole 911 catastrophe just to get it.
The only way we will ever get our freedom and rights back my friends is my another revolution. Ironically the hippies were right!