Thursday, February 25, 2010

LOVE WORK OUT

Is online love real?
I have wrestled with this notion for sometime. Those of you who read my posts
know this is a repeating theme. Past interactions have always left me with a conflicted response to this question.
Now that I have met someone completely different, who is of my same mind-set, do I dare to trust my feelings? Having been burned so often in the past, is it not fair to want to keep those emotions under lock and key?
Is it even wise to discuss these now, when it could jeopardize the relationship?
Is it even the right time to ponder these emotions?
so many questions and feelings and very little answers.
Trust is such a bitch to deal with. One that does not come easily to this fool when dealing with love. I guess it is the price we all pay when we put our feelings on the line. We all must take the risk, suck up and move forward hoping we don't crash and burn.
In the cyber world, so much is unknown that it makes it easy to prey upon or become victim to false hopes. Even in dealing with a real physical person, it is never easy. I'm not saying that an online person isn't real, for I know there are many who are, but there are also many who are there just to play the game and hide behind some false persona. These are the ones who you have to watch out for. They can be hacks, in disguise or just fucked up peeps who, for whatever reason, can't be true to themselves or others. I have said it before, but will again, that I do not play these kind of games and what I put out there is the real deal, for good or bad, take or leave. My emotions are pretty much worn on my sleeves. Just because I love to role play, doesn't mean I like to live an alter-ego. Even my characters in role play represent me on some level and that always comes through. Those close to me know this and make it easy to be open and honest.
Who said in life there are not guarantees?
Who said no careful amount of planning can take the place of pure dumb luck?
Who said doing a good job was like wetting your pants in a dark suit, it gives you a warm feeling but nobody notices?
Who said children should be seen and not heard?
Who said love is a rose but you better not pick it, only grows on the vine. Hand full of thorns and you know you missed it. you lose your love when you say the word mine~ think that was Neil Young.
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3 comments:

  1. The fact that you are what you are and no screens...and you wear your heart on your sleeve.....and are willing to talk about it and take a risk......and have been burned but still allow yourself to feel.....and have thorns from reaching out for that rose....all of the above make you...YOU!!! And that is a refreshing blessing in this world!

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  2. I appreciate your candour in this issue Jeff, I've had the same qualms, trust is something not given easily, especially in an online situation. However, I also believe that there are some connections between people that cross space and time. It's up to us choose whether or not to be open to these.
    I fully understand the need for self protection though, no one deliberately wants to be hurt.
    Sometimes patience is needed in waiting for a tree to blossom.
    <3 L

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  3. Thank you very much J. You always say the most uplifting things. I appreciate your refreshing outlook on things.
    Jeff

    Lily,
    Thank you so much for your take on this as well. I do believe the connection is real and I choose to be open no matter what happens. The protection mode is really just what comes naturally but I do want to break away from reacting the same. Energy follows thought, so if I can remain positive about the relationship, remove the obstacles, and clear the path, then the realization of love deserved can be abundant.
    <3 J.

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