Sunday, April 25, 2010


Would you meet me in paradise, just you and me?

A warm misty Island with blue green waters all around

A secluded cabin on the water where we could remain naked

Having only food and drinks delivered discreetly, a fresh towel here and there

The world around shut out, tuned out from media, phones, television, newspapers

Escape from obligations, appointments, work schedules, family demands

gazing into your pale green/blue eyes until our souls merge into one

kissing you sweetly, passionately, with complete abandon, living for desire

satisfying all our fantasies, desires, dreams, wantings

Seeing only you, moving in harmony and rhythm with you, anticipating every movement

Having our thoughts shared and understood without having to express them

How long could it last? This complete dedication and attention.

An eternity? A year? would you accept one to two weeks? I know I would gladly.

One life, love may come and go but life is a one shot experience.

Take the time to express your wants and desires and to play them out for your lover.

You never know if you will get another chance. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Have you felt like your life has been a censorship lately.
Ever feel like you are being watched, monitored by your every move?
Everything from spy ware on your PC to the government tracking everything we do.
It can be as simple as a spouse or parent blocking access to certain Internet sites, or big brother keeping tabs on everything you say or do. Has your life been hacked?
I feel like I'm being watched and blocked at work with websense. They have forbid certain workers from even getting on the Internet except to check company emails, while other can do whatever they like. At home I have to watch where I go or what I may say on twitter because spy ware is always tracking me off of key words I may type.
Then there is the fear of those you live with watching what you do, who you talk to, that kind of thing. With so much fear and control at our fingertips, how can anyone feel truly free? Wasn't the Internet supposed to set us free? We have created more deceit,lies, mistrust, fear, control, abuse, ridicule, judgements, misjudgements, cheating, misrepresentation, false truths, hype, lust, trust, love, money schemes, falsified facts, crying, laughing, anger, and apathy.
No wonder we have no sense of reality.
We have become victims of our own circumstance. What a sad state of affairs we have reached.

On the other side, I cannot imagine how boring my life would be right now without the Internet. How so many people that I have met, laughed with, interacted with, would not exist. I would be stuck in my day to day never seeing a way out of the humdrum daily existence that is the reality of my life now.
Think about it! No blogging, no blipping songs, no twitter folks to interact with? Crap, I would have to go back to playing mindless video games and watching TV. Oh but what if they took away your TV, your radios, your newspapers, books, letters, transportation devices, all communications???
What or how could we survive? Can you imagine a world like that? All we would have are the incessant demons talking to us in our heads. ohhhh man that is a scary thought. The mind would want to go where minds should never go. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Today I thought I would talk about a band close to my heart.
The Shins! They are thought of as an Oregon band cause that's where they
are based out of but their orgins are in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
This is from "Wincing the Night Away"
Not all lyrics always fit what we feel about someone and this one has elements that do not fit, but it also makes you think and ponder the meaning deep between the lines. That is how great lyrics are supposed to be. If I could write songs like this, I could quit my day job.

Time to put the earphones on

Born to multiply, born to gaze into night skies,
All you want
But look here, until then
So keep your wick in the air and your feet in the fetters
To the day.
You come in doing cartwheels
We all go out by ourselves
And your shape on the dance floor
Will have me thinking such filth and gauge my eyes.

Faced with a dodo
Ah, I felt like I could just fly
But nothing

A dual tone under wall
Selfish fool and hoped you
Never dreamt of such sterile hands,
You keep them folded in your lap,
And raise them up to beg for scraps,
You know, he's holding you down,
With the tips of his fingers just the same,
You'll be pulled from the ocean,
But just a minute too late,
Or changed by a potion,
For you to love.

You'll be damned to pining through the windowpanes,
You know you'll change your life for any ordinary Joe,
And though your night will go on,
Your nightmares only need a year or two to unfold.

Been in love since you were twenty-one,
You haven't laughed since January,
You try and make this up this is so much fun,
But we know it to be quite contrary.

Dare to be one of us, girl,
Facing the Andrum's conundrum,
Ah, I feel like I should just cry,
But nothing happens every time I take one on the chin,
You don't know how long I've been,
Watching the lantern dim,
Starved of oxygen,
So give me your hand,
And let's jump out the window.

Lyrics used by permission of

Monday, April 12, 2010


It amazes lately how people's moods tend to fluctuate, especially my own.

It seems that in my case, it is directly related to my emotional bonds and whether I

get nourishment in my relationship. Is that true for everyone else? I would think

so, on varying levels. How easily we are either gratified or pushed to edge of

abandonment by how we interact with each other. Especially when your talking about

online relationships. It seems that the distance factor and limited time spent

together can really affect one's mood. I have spent countless hours pondering this

dilemma and frankly the more I ponder the worse it gets. Every lack of validation

adds up twofold to the already depleted absence of gratification of the physical.

Are we gluttons for punishment or is it just the circumstances of being in love

with someone whom you cannot be with presently? I have thought about this long before

and still have not come to terms with the outcome because there is no outcome only

possibilities. Hopes and dreams, knowing what I want but so much out of my hands adds

to the fears of losing someone you hold more precious than anyone you have ever

interacted with before. I'm not about to let her go and I think she knows that.

Even if the deep blue sea were to try to keep her away from me, I would find her loving arms.

A love so true that it can consume you in bliss is one that you can never miss. reaches out to your heart and soul.

absorbing you in layers of a warm mist, dragon's breath breathes in her snake breath, two serpents become entwined as one.

Disappears in flight, playfully becomes her delight, dances across the flame lit skies. forever bound by a harmonic sigh. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I read something today about trust in relationships that made me stop and think. I will be one to admit that I have had trust issues in relationships at one point or another. Being a victim of mistrust and abuse, it is not hard to see why I have issues but I have never explored the possibility that it might not be other people's actions that can set off the mistrust, that it might, in fact, be something within me that causes it to surface. So I would like to explore that idea a little. The article talked about how some men will try to read their significant other's diary, hack their emails and that kind of thing. While I have never tried to read any woman's diary nor have I ever hacked their emails, the reason that the article said they do this kind of hit me. It said that a man who feels the need to keep tabs or check-up on his significant other, may have secrets they themselves might want to hide. While not a new concept, not one I would tend to contemplate. I have always chalk it up to insecurities or feelings of not having control. The reality should be that we are not meant to have control of another and the fact that we are in a relationship should prove that there in nothing to be insecure about. So much of what we think goes on in an online relationship is conjecture. We have to make inferences about what we think is going on because we cannot witness or be savvy to the whole picture.
For instance, if you were to go to a party with your significant other and some guy comes on to her in an inappropriate way and you are there to see it, well then you can confront him and her about the nature of what happened. But in a online situation, you basically have nothing to go by unless there was a wide-range of witnesses or something like that. So I believe that trust has to be a major factor on both sides. Invading someones space to satisfy your own curiosity leads nowhere but to more mistrust. It slowly sinks in! To confront someone about something you have little or no idea what it is about just puts them on the defensive and accomplishes very little other than hurt feelings. Of course on the other end of the spectrum there are those who will take advantage of the fact that there is no accountability online and who feel anything goes. Well for those, I choose not to associate myself with those types online or in real life. I also try not to be judgemental about what people do either, it is after all fairly harmless as long as they are not hurting someone. I do not however tolerate abusive, disruptive or threatening behavior from anyone not do I allow it to be inflicted on anyone I like.
I have been threatened online, and I have been called on my actions and I can tell you it is not pleasant. In certain situations you cannot even defend yourself because the person you are trying to deal with has already placed you in their category of what they perceive you to represent to them. When conversation becomes so one-sided and takes on the persona of just being about them, there is nothing you can do but remain silent.
I hope that I can learn from the mistakes I've made and choose to become a better friend, lover, and observer. is copyrighted © and may not be used without permission from the creator