Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Relationships at best can be draining, consuming, comprimising, even disheatening.
At the sametime, though they can be incredibly uplifing, blissful, uncomprimising, insatiable, even spiritual.
What makes a great relationship have problems? It is fear mostly. With all of that giving, openess, love, physical energy, comes a great fear of crawling out on a limb and being left there by yourself. As relationships grow, so do expectations. We become closer by admiring and respecting each others beliefs, passions, desires, secrets, vulnerabilities. As the comfort level increases, unfortunately so does the fear factor. Will he or she remain true, will you be able to hold each others interests? Will all the trust you have establihed be crushed by another person, or be destroyed by them or yourself.
I for once, will hold on for dear life no matter which direction it may turn. I have come closer to everything I have ever wanted before than I have ever been in my life. Now I have heard that said before and I used to laugh to myself thinking yeah sure! It is like when people talk about their kids being so cute or whatever and you think Yeah sure! ho hum! It's not until you experience it for yourself that you realize how incredible it can be.

The vision we all want for ourselves is sometimes mistaken for everyone's elses' vision. What I mean by that is we judge the world, other people, family, those closest to our hearts by our own beliefs. We make the assumption that if we believe things a certain way, then surely the other people in our lives must also.
This is what we call reality, but is it? Is it possible for others in our lives to have the same vision, same reality? I would say close is possible but not every aspect. It probably should be that way too, otherwise we may as will clone ourselves and live with duplicity. Why are we so afraid of differences? Why do we strive to surround ourselves with people who think, act, work, eat, sleep just like we do?
Instead of reveling in diversity, we cling to our safe little world view of likeness.
Look at all of the matchmaking sites on the internet for instance. How do they operate? By matching you up with a version of yourself from the oposite sex.

I say if you want a lasting relationship, perhaps seek someone out who is very different from you, but one who your share the same view of the world. Remember things that attract you to someone in the beginning are the core foundation of who you may fall in love with, so don't have expectations that you will change them or that they will change you. If it isn't there from the beginning, your probably better off not pursuing it. Keep it fun. Laughter can cure a lot of woes and it just is so much more fun. Stick to your ideals. Comprimise when you can live with it. Love yourself first, for you can never love another unless you do. Don't plan everything. Be spontaneous, they love that. Have a solid plan always, but don't forget to have a back up plan as well. Strive for happiness. One of my favorites from a native american perspective is Live life as if today was your last day on earth.

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  1. a lot of goo points... i thot the last bit was {{{SPOT ON}}}

  2. Thx BigBilly!
    Nice of you to comment!
    Thx for add on blip.
    See ya on the blip Rock side :)

  3. "This is what we call reality, but is it? Is it possible for others in our lives to have the same vision, same reality" Great thought..one I think about daily. Is there really such a thing as truth between men and women? Or is truth an individualized worldview for each of us?

    Great blog, I'm kicking myself for not visiting more often!


  4. Hi Gayle!
    Boy are you thoughts weighing heavy on my mind today and I also think about this almost everyday. I would like to think that there is truth between men and women. Internet relationships, just by their nature are easy to hide truths from each other. To me, the greatest gauge of whether truth is being exchanged is through the longgevity of consistency. Eventually, truth comes out if you know how to read the signals that are sent.
    Thanks for you comment and you are welcome to anytime :)